hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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