ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
