i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
