just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
