she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have already put on my inside pants.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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