So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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