@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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