Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize