Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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