suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
