they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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