I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
