Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
