this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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