i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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