Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
