just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
