I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
