glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize