I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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