ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
