I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
one might say we're banned from that church
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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