Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
