i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He felt like a one man threesome
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
