you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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