All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
