Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
