Please, let me fuck your mom
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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