woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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