then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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