Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
