The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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