singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
