i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
