question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize