so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
