Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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