so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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