What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
