tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize