She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Can I color on your dick again?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
