There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
