I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
