Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I FOUND THE LEGS
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
