OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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