he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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