It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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