He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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