you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Randomize
