Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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