I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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