Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
