the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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