I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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