she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I supernannyed him into submission
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
