both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
