Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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