OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
