I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
