So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize