do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
