I am in a vortex of obligation.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
