Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
