Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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