Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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